Two Positives

With a newly turned four-year-old with an attitude and a two and a half year old that read the definition of terrible twos; my husband and I have felt a little stressed lately.
A couple weeks ago I took advantage of one of the great classes the Jefferson City Parents as Teachers program offers; looking and hoping for answers. The big thing I took away and have been trying to practice is giving our boys two positive choices when trying to get them to do or not do something. THIS IS SO HARD! It is so much more natural to give one positive and one negative choice or to just threaten with the second and not present it as a choice. At this point I am probably getting this to work for me fifty percent of the time…

Example 1:
Our two-year-old has decided he no longer wants to hold our hand and has started running off again. Prior to the class I would have said to him; “you can either hold my hand or you have to wear your monkey (backpack with tail leash).” This usually resulted in screaming and throwing himself to the ground… Post class I have been trying to say; “you can either hold my hand or you can wear your monkey.” Would you believe the first time I presented these choices he excitedly chose the monkey. Unfortunately; this hasn’t been this easy every time. I have found myself repeating the same two choices in hopes of wearing him down; only to have no other choice but to pick him up and go where we needed to go.
 
Example 2:
I have been fighting with our Four-year-old to eat since the moment he was born! Our dinners frequently include statements like; “you either eat your dinner or…” We have now been trying statements like; “you can either eat your chicken or eat your carrots (both of which he likes)” This hasn’t worked every night but it has saved us from a few fights so far…

If nothing else I have felt like thinking of two positives has allowed me to take a minute to breathe and think rather then just reacting... This new approach is definitely still a work in progress for our family but I highly recommend you give it a try.
 
Interested in digging deeper into Dr. Becky Bailey's
Conscious Discipline®
 book for parents? If there is sufficient interest, Parents as Teachers will host a book study this spring! If you are interested contact katie Epema at
katie.epema@jcschools.us